The Presidential Candidates as NFL Head Coaches

The Presidential Candidates as NFL Head Coaches

Hillary Clinton = Mike Mularkey

clinton mularkey

An uninspiring retread with a track record of incompetence.  A stopgap until the wealthy oligarchs decides who should lead the franchise.

cruz and kelly

Ted Cruz = Chip Kelly

A loose cannon who’s going to try and shake things up within the system.  Probably racist.

sanders coughlin

Bernie Sanders = Tom Coughlin

Ruddy cheeked and susceptible to skin illnesses, this firebrand bucks convention and gets results.  Old as fuck.

donald trump and rex ryan

Donald Trump = Rex Ryan

A wild card who shoots from the hip and makes a ton of mistakes.  Probably does weird stuff with feet.

Chris Christie Andy Reid

Chris Christie = Andy Reid

Makes strange decisions and doesn’t respond well to pressure.  High blood pressure.