I’m offended! By literally everything.

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Alright, society.  We have hit bottom.  The healing can begin now.

When a rodeo clown’s mask is held up to society and placed on google news as something significant, well I think we’ve just dug too deep in the ol’ I’m offended bucket to go any lower.  And, ask yourself fair reader, do you want to live in a world where a rodeo clown can’t be an idiot?  Is that the America you want to leave for your children?

“My rodeo clown completed 46 hours of sensitivity training!”

“Well my rodeo clown is a 26 year old male vegan feminist who owns a kabbalah studio in Park Slope.”

“My rodeo clown chases bulls and wears stupid masks.”  (Boo!)

The article I screencapped above quotes a man named Perry Beam heavily for some reason.  You see, Perry Beam was the MOST offended by the Obama clown mask and of course he should be the person that the Associated Press quotes, because quoting someone with a measured of reasoned stance is simply not good journalism.

Perry states (in a huff I would imagine)

“About 15 minutes into the performance, the masked clown had to leave after a bull got too close.”

Well, that’s a rodeo clown’s job, Perry.

He goes on (sweating at this point I’m sure).

“It was sickening. It was feeling like some kind of Klan rally you’d see on TV.”

I don’t know what is being broadcast in Missouri but I’d be surprised to find out they are broadcasting Klan rallies after the 6 o’clock news.

This kind of hyperbole might pass in a sewing circle or at some frantic meeting of the neighborhood watch association or at a barbecue where too many light beers are being served, but it shouldn’t pass for journalism.  The ridiculous, unfounded emotional opinion of one lunatic (A LUNATIC THAT WILLFULLY GOES TO BULL RIDING SHOWS AT MISSOURI STATE FAIRS!) should not be quoted in any article that is distributed for consumption to anyone.

Moving on…

And since when has a president, any president, been beyond reproach, scorn or satire?  Isn’t satire and scorn of our leaders a fundamental freedom we have as Americans?  Are our leaders beyond reproach?  Hell no!  There is a rich tradition of holding our leaders up to scorn, derision and mockery.  It should not end now.  And it certainly shouldn’t stop at some goddamned bull riding show at a state fair in Missouri!  Bullshit political commentary is practically born at the state fair and it has EVERY RIGHT TO LIVE!  (cuz america)

So, please, Perry Beam.  Associated Press.  Offended Americans Everywhere!  Calm. the fuck.  down.