alphabet ranked

The Letters of the Alphabet: RANKED

Z. The last letter in the alphabet comes up first in this countdown. No letter better exemplifies what a letter is more than the letter z. Three lines. Two 45 degree angles. Perfection.

S. If you’re a fan of plural nouns and action verbs then you have to be a fan of the letter S. Without S there would be no kittens or walks in parks. There would be no laughs or trysts in hotels or brothels. Yes, the letter s is alright.

B. Letter B. Right, man? (Look, I’m being held hostage here and you’ve got to do something to help me. I started working as a freelance listicle maker about two years ago when these things were sort of new and I could find subjects to write about. Top 10 ways Vladimir Putin is actually a Bond villain, 5 fruits that look like dicks. Stuff like that. But now with the demand for content at an all time high and the value for meaningful content at an all time low I have been stuck in this small office writing listicles at my cube with no end in sight. Right now it’s the letter list. Next I’m ranking the best words that end in -ous. Luscious, I think, will top the list. Shh. Someone’s coming.)

A. The first letter in the alphabet comes in at number 4 in our countdown. The letter A is alright! (Okay, they’re gone. They check on us randomly. They just sweep up and down the cube farm with their phones, never looking up, just checking to see if someone has posted or not. Debbie hasn’t posted anything about Adele in several hours so I fear her days may be numbered. I wish she would just make something up, but I think she’s tired of all of it. I wonder what will happen to her. She might have to unplug. If you see this, know that there’s more to life than this endless consumption of lists and useless information. There’s a whole world out there. I remember it. Sort of.

Top 5 things I remember about the earth.

  1. 1. Trees. Those big things with the leaves?
  2. 2. Clouds. White. Puffy. Puffy combs.

5 times that P Diddy made us all remember the 90s.

Remember the 90s? Millennials. Harry potter for some reason. What letter comes next? What letter comes next?)