Joe Torre is Not a Monster
This is baseball Hall of Famer Joe Torre.
He is also definitely not a monster.
- Joe Torre’s career batting average was .297. He also ate four whole chickens before every game, feathers and all.
- Joe Torre hit 252 career home runs and once terrorized a village under they agreed to surrender their goats.
- Joe Torre’s career OPS was an unimpressive 817, but he could unhinge his jaw to eat large prey.
- Joe Torre has over 2300 career hits and could speak the long dead language of the Hill People.
- Joe Torre only had 23 career stolen bases but he could raze a barn with his bare hands.
- Joe Torre had 779 career walks and was once rumored to have sired a child to a unicorn.
- Joe Torre won the MVP award in 1971 and could create dust storms by pounding his fists into the earth.