Look, I’m not a prude or a Luddite. I don’t have a long beard or a butter churner. I don’t have a son named Josiah or Wilhelm. BUT I must reiterate that from the very beginning I wholeheartedly DID NOT support the construction of the giant robots in New Haven. Some have said that the construction of giant robots would help the economy.
Sure, it will bring jobs to New Haven, but at what cost? And what are we building giant robots for in the first place? The robot’s designers at MegaCorp were never forthcoming with the role their giant robots would play in the community and oftentimes they took a hostile stance toward those who opposed the project.
And once the first robot’s bright white eyes opened and it appeared to almost smile at its creator, strange things started to happen around town. I was disheartened by the changes, but I can’t say I was surprised.
Eventually, the people of Connecticut had enough of the giant robots and the strange plagues they wrought upon the state and decided to do something about it. After many hours of deliberation in town council meetings, several plans were agreed upon by several cities in the state.
New Britain decided to build a flaming wall of trash.
The local newspapers endorsed the giant cannon plan.
While the city of New Haven decided to build a “mecha-robot” that would dwarf the giant robot and destroy it.
But ultimately all the plans just made things worse.
The flaming wall of trash fell down on New Britain.
The giant cannon was a dud.
And the mecha-robot performed admirably in its task of destroying the giant robot but then became self-aware and power hungry. It’s a real dick.
So now here we are. Our police force is mostly dead. Their arms and legs are used as weapons now that all the gun powder and metal was used in the construction of the broken giant cannon. We have volunteer troops that form half-hearted armadas against the mecha-robot. It’s basically a suicide mission but for the burning trash covered citizens of Connecticut, the mission is a welcome one.
The Connecticut State Police, or rather what’s left of the Connecticut State Police is accepting applications to fight against the mecha-robot.
We all know it’s futile. We will all die by the hands of the mecha-robot.
But hey, it still beats living in Connecticut.