albany new york museum

Albany, why don’t you just take albany?

I didn’t expect much from Albany.  And initially it did not disappoint.  I expected nothing and I got nothing.  And then…Lark Street and the absolutely amazing architecture of the town.  Here’s some doors from Albany, part of my new erotic picture book “The Doors of Albany”.

doors of albany

Then the next day?  The freaking museum.

That Albany itch of yours not scratched?  Click here for some video from UNDER the great state of New York.  If that doesn’t work, try a salve.

san diego zoo tour

San Diego Zoo

I love video that feels like a vintage postcard.  So I set about making a video from my visit last week to the San Diego Zoo to look just like that.  From the font choice to the coloring, I wanted a video that felt immediately nostalgic.  My love for that zoo is INFINITE so I wanted the video I made about it to feel timeless.  The song is “From the Dead” off the new Faith No More album and it’s perfect. Read more

nsylvania

‘nsylvania

Recently I had the pleasure of visiting the great city of Pittsburgh with my friends at Nuts ’n More. Don’t know Nuts ’n More? Go to their site, buy some of their delicious and nutritious nut butters and then leave a thank you comment on my site. I’ll wait.

You’re back! Good. Well recently I had the great pleasure of tagging along with them as they signed a multi-million dollar deal with GNC with Mark Cuban and the crew of ABC’s Shark Tank. That’s a mouthful. Lots of dollar signs in there. Anyway, I brought my trusty camera and my wits and filmed them over the course of two days and filmed their sense of humor and their excitement leading into one of the most important deals of their lives (so far).

Below are some clips from the video I produced from that trip. A trip I dubbed ‘nsylvania.

Gettin’ a Shine

Rentin’ a Car

Visitin’ Simple Sugars

Meetin’ Mark Cuban

The Full-Ass Video

Conversations with a Virtual Assistant

I’m trying to buy a roundtrip ticket to New York but because Amtrak.com is run by a lobotomized chimp, it is proving to be more difficult than it ever needed to be.  So in comes Julie: Amtrak’s “virtual assistant”.

virtual assistant

Certainly this plucky gal can help me solve my locomotive misfortune!

But alas, Julie has problems.  Severe emotional problems that I can only assume are the result of an abusive relationship with her alcoholic and moody boyfriend: The Shadowy “Amtrak Man”.

amtrak man
Who the fuck are you, bro?

I tried to talk to Julie, not just to solve my problem but to maybe help her with hers, but sometimes people don’t want your help.  Sometimes, Julie, you have to hit bottom to reach for a hand up.  Below is my conversation with my weary virtual assistant.  Her assistance may be virtual, but her struggle is all too real.

conversations with a virtual assistant

Godspeed, Julie.  Maybe you’ll get to where you need to go.  And maybe I’ll end up in New York.  And when you look up at that New York City skyline and see the Empire State Building glowing in the night sky from in between two swollen-shut eyes, you think of me.  Because as I look out over the Hudson and see an eastbound train heading nowhere, I’ll think of you.