Brian Williams was there, Man!

Brian Williams was there, Man!

Lot of talk lately about Brian Williams and where he might have been and where he might not have been.  He was suspended for six months without pay because he lied about being in a helicopter or whatever.  A lot of people lie about being in helicopters.  Helicopters are cool and not too many people get to ride in them.  I mean, I’ve been in a helicopter (that is a lie) but you don’t see me bragging about it!

So Brian Williams wasn’t in a helicopter that got shot at.  Big deal.  Most people haven’t been in a helicopter that’s been shot at.  So Brian Williams is more like most people than he probably wants to be.  If anything, Brian Williams is only guilty of being as uninteresting as most people.

But, hey, at least he can say that his daughter had on-screen analingus!  

Brian Williams: He may not have flown with Seal Team 6 but his daughter got her butthole eaten on HBO.  That deserves at least a three month reduction on his suspension.

And maybe Brian Williams wasn’t lying at all…maybe, just maybe he experiences time in a different way than most people.  I mean, the guy is the LEAD ANCHOR OF NBC NEWS.  You don’t get there by being just some jerk who gushes forth seed that produces the next Peter Pan.  No.  You get there by seeing things-newsworthy things.  IMPORTANT THINGS.  Below are some items I have unearthed in my examination of the story of Brian Williams.  I can neither confirm nor deny the veracity of these documents, but, if true, they shed light on Mr. Williams’ claims of being present for some of the world’s note-worthy events.

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