HOLLYWOOD FRUIT

The Academy Awards!  The greatest night in show business!  It’s a time for Hollywood’s elite to sit back and watch the fruit of their and other people’s labor.  But before we start enjoying that delicious Hollywood fruit, let’s look at the nominees for Best Picture!

BEST PICTURE
The Artist
A black and white silent film called “The Artist” directed by a man named Michel?  The old Avon movie theater by Brown University was moist when the print for this movie arrived.  I have not seen it.  I already haven’t heard it, so I’ve experienced half of the movie.  Good enough.

The Descendants
Middle aged upper middle class white people emotional porn.  When this movie was released I knew it was going to be on this list.  Alexander Payne speaks for the emotionally vexed, politically and self aware one percent.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
This is either a movie based on the Jonathan Safran Foer novel or it’s the story an annoying stranger on a subway.

The Help
If only there were blogs back then…

Hugo
Martin Scorsese’s love letter to boredom.

Midnight in Paris
Owen Wilson enters into a wonderful and fantastic time traveling adventure in Paris long before the world knew anything about the movie “Hall Pass”.

Moneyball
Sports+Mathematics+Statisical Analysis=Oscar Gold.

Tree of Life
Watch this movie with friends.  You will definitely get into an argument with them.

War Horse
There may not be a more badass combination of words than WAR and HORSE.  Sounds like a sweet black metal song or a nightmarish hell beast.

Now eat some fruit!